Rewrites, Reboots, and so on

Hi everyone, time for an update!

So I’ve mentioned on social media about returning to Chidetan, but I’ve been mentally juggling whether returning to it would be worth it. To re-decide, I read what I started with, and was well…

Both upset with what I read but admired how far I’ve developed as a writer

I received comments from a friend that the start of the story is very slow, that there’s little gripping reason to keep a reader reading. Since this is being posted periodically, a weak beginning will kinda hamper chances to get new readers if I continue to update. So with that, I’m going to once again, keep Chidetan Odyssey on Hiatus, and try moving on with a few other things. Throwing some stuff at the wall to see what works.

Tales from Congeria is fairly well received, so that’s where I’m going to start. While I’m not the happiest when it comes to the intro for Joy and Simon since it’s nearly been a year since I wrote it as a kinda test thing, I’m at least content with the second part. So I’m going to re-write their intro.

I’ve already drafted up a rather action-packed chapter 3 for them both, had it for a while, and now I finally got time to work on it.

Along with that, I’m going to re-write the intro to Scott and Ferra as well, since I wrote it when I wasn’t as experienced as I was before. I’ve already drafted the new intro chapter, with a bit of nice action and interest about the vast world of Congeria to try and hook the reader.

Spending years studying literary analysis and practicing crafting worlds, I always saw myself as a fairly competent writer before. Now I’m glad to see the difference my year of work has made. While I’m still happy with my past in worldbuilding and storytelling, I’ve improved a lot when it came to prose. The most important thing I learned?
You gotta start with a good hook if you want to keep readers reading.

When I finally do return to Chidetan Odyssey, expect the first half of it to look brand new.

To all my readers, have a good week, and a happy Thanksgiving!

Tales from Congeria: The Closing Festival

The moon shone down onto the blazing skyline of Romitum, hovering high over the temporarily clear streets. Many roads were closed in preparation for the Closing Festival, celebrating the two-hundred and third end of the Harvest War. Members of law enforcement were quickly establishing barricades on several of the street entrances, making sure every street leading up to the city’s Capitol Building were clear, while construction workers and civilians prepared several stands and attractions. At the top of the skylines, two figures watched several trucks full of various materials and goodies pull up to each barricade. One figure was armored from head to toe, wearing a large camo cloak, while the other wore an oddly frilly dress, exposing much of her hardened physique. The armored figure turned back to her, giving her an obvious “are you serious” expression that even she could tell through his tinted helmet.

“Hey c’mon Simon, once everything’s clear, I wanna celebrate too! I thought may as well have the armory whip me up something quick so I wouldn’t have to change…”

He sighed, returning to watching each truck.

“I swear Joy, someday you’ll learn how useful wearing around a ton of armor can be in this field. Or at least somebody is going to bash that lesson into your skull.”

She huffed as he held up his hand.

“And speaking of being thick-skulled, I think I found the ballsiest people of today.”

From his cloak he handed her a pair of binoculars. She looked through, noticing a few sketchy looking men in a line of trucks moving several crates out of their truck into a nearby building. Simon shook his head. “They’re gonna try and move those crates of Bliss and whatever else with the crowd when the festival finally opens. I’ll let law-”

She put her hand on his shoulder. “Hey, we didn’t come here just for tattletale duty. Besides, I’m sure the officers here want to enjoy the festival as much as I do.

“Point taken.” He drew his railgun from his back, hitting a few switches on his scope, before eyeing through it. “Just let me know on the radio if you need anything specific. Other than that, I’ll just keep you out of bigger trouble as per usual.”

She grinned and took several steps back. She then broke into a full sprint, leaping off the edge of the building towards the suspicious truck, Simon sighing.

“Would a little bit of subtlety just kill you?”

He eyed through his scope, picking up heat signatures of several men and women moving in and out of the suspicious building.

 

Joy crashed down right in front of one of the barricades, cracking the ground around her and scaring the ever-loving shit out of both of the officers. They quickly reached for their guns before she held up her hand.

“No need to worry officers, official Crusader business!” She broke into a sprint, effortlessly leaping the barricade and zooming past the trucks, leaving the two officers dumbfounded. It wasn’t long until she had to skid to a halt, reaching the truck of note. She peeked into the back of it: completely empty except for a few planks of wood to assemble a stand. Turning her eyes towards the building they all entered, she casually pushed the door open, entering a room full of several men moving boxes behind a steel door, and women armed with pistols glaring at her. One of the men directing everyone stopped and turned to her, gawking slightly at her outfit before regaining his focus.

“Uh, lady, the hell are you doing in here?”
Joy exaggeratedly shrugged. “I dunno, I thought there was gonna be some festival stuff in here because I saw you guys unloading your truck in here.”
“Well you’re wrong. We had some food that was rotting so we quickly need to check every box to make sure the rest of our goods are fine. Just move along, all right?”

She continued to walk inwards, the man backing away and some of the others reaching for their pistols.

“Hmm… You sure you aren’t hiding something really cool for the festival? I mean, this is a pretty heavy door for some food.”

“Ain’t you ever seen a freezer before-”

She reared back her fist and threw a punch at the center of the door. It completely bent inward, taking a few of the hinges off with it, but still standing. Everyone in the room jumped, a few of them shooting at her stomach in retaliation. She winced as each bullet pecked at her abdomen, each one crumpling and falling to the floor.

joypunch
Art by https://sheepapp.tumblr.com

“Yeouch… First, that wasn’t very nice. Second, that’s the world’s heftiest freezer door I’ve ever seen! I’m pretty sure you’re hiding something awesome!”

She grabbed the door by it’s crumpled sides, straining somewhat before ripping it completely out from its frame, whirling around as all the armed men in the room began to fire. Using it as a shield, each bullet either bounced off the door or harmlessly off her arms until she heard all of their guns click dry. She grinned as she tossed away the door, noticing a few men were grabbing assault rifles from one of the crates. A few bullets pierced the wall, flying into both of them.

“You’re welcome” crackled across Joy’s earpiece. Her grin now back in full force, she leapt towards each terrified goon, easily knocking out each one: A punch to the chin, the stomach, kick to the side, showing enough restraint to try and incapacitate with her immense strength instead of kill. Soon the entire room was either knocked out, except for the few poor men who tried to go for heavier armaments. She turned towards the ruined doorway where the steel door once was, waltzing in and tearing off the roof of one of the crates. There she stared wide-eyed at several small rat-sized creatures, each bearing numerous razor-sharp teeth, frozen completely in red crystal.

“The room is clear and we need to get a purification team here. Those shits thought they could smuggle in a bunch of crystallized doomrats.”

“Copy that, nice work Joy. Head back to me, and authorities will be there very soon.”

She first picked up one of the crystals, gripping as tightly as she could. It shattered, completely crushing the demon inside of it. She smiled, turning back towards the exit.

 

The rest of the night thankfully went off without a hitch. Crusader purifiers and local enforcement officers apprehended every man and safely purged every last doomrat. More crusaders were present at the festival, ensuring that no rat would suddenly disrupt the festival, but thankfully they weren’t necessary. Joy was fully aware of this, and spent most of the time with the citizens, enjoying the food and activities the festival had to offer, and spending time conversing and showing off her physique with other amazed citizens. While all this happened, Simon solemnly stared down at the festival, taking in every little detail with his rifle to his side. He sighed, letting out the slightest smile from behind his mask at the sight.

Where to continue next?

I’m finally wrapping up classes and settling into the flow of work, so hopefully I can get back into the flow of writing. Right now, I’m doing a favor for a friend, but once that’s wrapped up, I can move on to one of two options
1. Continuing Chidetan Odyssey

2. A continuation to Joy and Simon’s story from Tales from Congeria.

Let me know what you would like best

I Became Overpowered in my Favorite MMO

My name? My name will be well known across the land soon. I am Darkedge, the King of Man, Scourge of Demonkind, and once a nobody of the earthly realm. I never was this godlike before. I used to be a skinny pushover. That was, however, until I got sucked into one of my favorite MMOs. A dream for any kid like me, really. Only difference is I still need to eat, drink, and use the bathroom, but those are just minor drawbacks, especially considering what I know. I was somewhat disappointed I was a level one new character, but then I remembered something interesting only level oners like me could do: A good exploitable bug. Normally in this game you can lose a few of your levels to respec any skills, handy if you screw up a build or something. A few users found something rather hilarious, however: If you respec at level one, the game doesn’t know what to do and underflows you to a level feasibly impossible to get in-game. It doesn’t give you any skill points, but with stats that high you can just brute-force anything. The devs banned anyone who attempted this glitch, but in this video game reality, there’s no banhammer here!

With stats this high, I’m pretty sure I can hold a mountain over my head with no sweat. My agility is already so high I can just barely start a jog and zoom on over to wherever I need to be! I don’t really need all of this intelligence since I don’t have any skills to use. Vitality is so high I don’t need to worry about dying, that is, if anything could harm me before I destroy them. My charisma should also make me the most charming man to have ever existed, so I could just tell a king do give me his kingdom and he’d agree! That would be boring, however, and I know exactly how I’m going to make myself appear epic to all these low-leveled losers! I did a bit of grinding in the first area of the game to get a single piece of armor I was looking for: A dark, menacing looking cloak that covered my entire body. My weapon of choice I was going to use for everything? A broken shortsword. It’s gonna be awesome, everyone is gonna be like “Holy crap he killed that demon king with a broken sword he’s the coolest!” It’s an easy one way trip to fame, fortune, and girls!

Stumbling over myself a few times thanks to my speed, it was literally seconds for me to traverse through all of the cheap easy early areas and made my way to the game hub, or in this world, I guess it’s the capital city of the game’s nation called Imperius. What should I rename this city to when they give it to me anyways? I’ll think about that later. I couldn’t reveal my full power to everyone just yet, so I had to be careful not to break into a jog, else my agility would kick in. If I were playing the game, I would just click where you’d want to go and BAM, you’d warp there. Now I gotta walk through all of this boring stuff step by step until I get to the parts that are actually important. But, it’ll allllll be worth it. Finally, I arrived at my destination: The Hunters Guild. Here they put up all sorts of bounties for major demons across the land, along with some story missions as well, but the story doesn’t matter. Walking up to the listing’s board, ugh, I had to browse through various pieces of papers tacked on. Why couldn’t they had made this world with magic listing boards? It’d make it a lot more convenient for me. It only took around thirty seconds of digging, but then I found what I was looking for: A listing for a level ninety archdemon at hell’s crater. I tore it from the board and pushed the doors open to the guild, walking towards the mission desk.

“I’d like to take on this job!”
I slammed the piece of paper on the desk. However, instead of hearing the “Holy Crap!” of amazement I expected, I instead got a “Holy Crap!” of fear as the entire desk shattered, sending thousands of bits of wood flying everywhere. They all bounced off of me harmlessly, but I couldn’t say the same for the man behind the desk. He was kinda… decimated by the blast I caused. The sudden sound of several swords and weapons being drawn caught my ear, and I turned around to seeing several other hunters of varying levels, all ready to slay me.

“Demon!” one of them cried. “No demon shall breach the city walls and come out alive!”
“No, you don’t understand! I’m human, it was an accident-”

One of the hunters charged forth with an unusually large blade. I dodged and gave him a quick punch in the gut to incapacitate him. Unfortunately, he was sent flying out of the room, probably all the way into orbit. The rest of the hunters stared at me dumbfounded, and I’m willing to bet even the ones wearing helmets or masks were just as terrified. This was getting way too out of hand, but then I remembered: My charisma!
“Hunters, please, I am no demon! I am your new champion, the soon to be savior and ruler of this world!”
One of the more intimidating hunters wearing silver armor raised his sword at me.

“A demon god? Possessing a human vessel? The rest of you, this man is no match for any of us, run and alert the emperor, the church, anyone who can help! I will do my best to hold him off, so go!”
“God dammit, I said I’m not a demon lord!” I boomed at the top of my voice, shaking the room around us. The silver knight began barking to the others once more.

“You see? The earth quaked when he took the name of God in vain! Hurry!”

How the hell do you use this charisma stuff anyways? The rest of the hunters fled as the knight began casting several buffs on himself. Damage boosts against demons, defensive boosts, pierce vitality… Uh oh. This armor wasn’t going to do any good and that spell would ignore my vitality defense bonus… I should really get better armor, but I don’t think there’s any good cloaked armor. My thoughts were cut off as the knight lunged at me and managed to get a hit in, tearing away a decent, yet still scary amount of my HP.
“You fiend! Not even the mightiest of demon gods can resist my spells!”

“Dude, your buffs are useless! I’m not a demon!”
He lunged at me once more and I dodged. I had to do something but if I killed this knight I’d never shake this whole demon lord title and never get all the glory and love and fame I wanted… Wait… Demon lord? They have succubi in this game, right? It was a plan harsher than I hoped for, but the title of “Demon Lord” doesn’t seem like one I can get rid of easily. I smiled in the middle of dodging more blows from this knight.

“Ahh yes… You’ve seen through my disguise! I am Darkedge, lord of all demons! Soon, this city shall fall and I shall rule you all!” I laughed as evilly as I could.

“I knew it!” A whole boatload of footsteps was heard right outside of the door. “But you’re a bit too late you beast!”

Several city guards charged in, firing fireballs, lightning, crossbow bolts at me, and if it was a projectile in the game, I’m sure it was being launched at me. Some just barely were able to take off one to two HP at a time, but most were worthless. I can’t believe I forgot all about the game’s defense system for trying to attempt combat in the city, so it’s a good thing I’m invincible. For my first act as Demon Lord Darkedge, I drew my broken sword and swung as hard as I could at one of the guards, coming into contact with some kind of barrier. What the hell? Oh that’s right, guards are invincible… A few spellcasters entered the room as well and began chanting, and before I could even recognize what they were saying, I found myself teleported outside of the city gates. I tried to run back in but crashed head-first into an invisible wall blocking the door. God dammit, there may be no admins here, but all these stupid anti-griefing safeguards… But if I, a player can’t get around these safeguards, surely other demons can! I was hoping to just keep that title and just take title of emperor by force, but now I have to become the literal king of demons.

Moving God knows how many times faster than the speed of sound constantly tripping over myself, I rolled up to the Devil’s Crater, an area that’s supposed to be the end-game raid location, and a supposed portal to hell. Even from the entrance, several demon beasts awaited for me to step in so they could chow down on me, and it gave me an idea as a good show of force to the forces of hell. I sped up to a slight jog and flew through the entrance, smashing through wall after wall of this labyrinth, unintentionally I will admit. I just wanted to agro them and slay this massive army that would be trailing behind me in front of Satan himself, and now I had no clue where I even was in this labyrinth. Then another idea struck my mind: If Hell is in the deepest depths of the earth, then I’ll just dig my way down there with my fists alone! I reared back my fist and punched into the ground, sending a massive shockwave through the earth. Dirt, bricks, and various beasts were sent flying up into the air as I made the Devil’s Crater deeper. Then I kept punching, sending more dirt and rocks and whatever else was buried down here flying out, vaporizing some stuff as well. Punch after punch after punch, I smashed my way deep into the earth until I reached a large chamber, falling down onto a rather elegant looking read carpet. I stared around, noticing I was surrounded by archdemons, and the carpet ran up to a massive golden throne, where Satan himself sat.

“Mortal!” All the archdemons surrounded me at the sound of his voice, ready to attempt to kill me. “You come to my realm knowing exactly what fate awaits you. Tell me why you have done this?”
I stood up, dusting off my long flowing cloak.

“I’m here to show you I’m the true lord of all demons, Darkedge!”
He grinned. “Oh, is that so? How amusing! You really think you hold more power than me?”

“All that you’d have to show is all your finest succubi, and I’m positive you they’d pick me over you!”
He frowned. “Kill this rat.”

All the demons leaped at me simultaneously and all I had to do was whip my sword around as hard as I could. It sent out a shockwave around the entire room, cleaving every single archdemon in half. I sheathed my sword.

“Is that strong enough for you Satan?”

Now Satan himself was staring at me dumbfounded.

“That’s physically impossible for even a mere mortal to do… What on earth are you?”

All of the sudden I was teleported back to the completely decimated entrance of the area with a good amount of loot and gold in my inventory. Then, I realized because I just completed the raid I got teleported back to the beginning automatically. I tried to re-enter the area until once again I was stopped. I remembered you could also only finish a raid once every day. Well, I have no place to stay, no proper towns I can enter, guess I just have to wait and convince satan when the area unlocks. I zoomed out of the area to a lush green field and lied down, preparing for a twenty four hour long sleep.

When I woke up, I saw something funny in the distance. I zoomed uncontrollably over, crashing into and plowing through a massive army of soldiers. Great, they’re here to hunt the great “Demon Lord”. At least these soldiers are vulnerable out here I continued to think to myself as I flew through the air. To the very left of me, something even more funny caught my eye. Demons too? Marching along with humans? And they weren’t fighting each other? I turned in front of me and noticed at the head of the army: Satan and the Emperor personally leading this force. What the hell is going on? I thought a bit more and realized: A great opportunity. They’re out of a safe zone and I can kill both of them right now, and take over the world! I regained my footing, being harmlessly attacked by thousands of swords and pikes and maces as I prepared to leap straight at the two leaders. I leapt, cloak flapping and broken sword in hand, ready to destroy them until I was smacked in the side by a massive stream of demonic fire. I heard screaming among the human crowd: “Anti demon enchantments aren’t working on him, what the hell!”
A familiar voice rang out throughout the entire land: “Try anti-vitality then! I was able to harm him using a combination of the two!”
Uh-oh.

I crashed to the side of the army as the swerved around, trying to keep their leaders protected. The front lines stood firm as the rear began to re-enchant their weapons. It didn’t seem like much of a problem, I could easily stay out of range of them with my speed. Just needed to charge on forward and kill Satan and the Emperor. I tried to jump again until I realized I could only walk at most. Looking down, the land beneath me suddenly turned into swamp. If you haven’t clued in, in-game, swamp terrain prevents jumping and forces you to walk, and it still operates by the same logic here. I look to my left, noticing a few massive demons were belching loads of sludge into the area. The familiar voice spoke up.
“Good, now enchanted pikemen, surround him, give him no exit!”
I tried to work my way toward the only open end of the swamp but soon I was totally surrounded. This was really how I, Darkedge, was going to fall? In a swamp surrounded by generic soldiers? Suddenly a few of the pikemen parted, and the silver knight from earlier worked his way into the swamp, weilding a golden hammer. I guess he wants to be the one who wants to get the title of “Killer of the Demon Lord”.

“With this mighty artifact, we will send you back to the void from whence you came, you beast of man and demon!” He charged at me and swung. I didn’t even bother to dodge. What could he do to me anyways? Maybe when his attempt failed, I could destroy him and demoralize the entire army and get my plan back on track! Then the thing smashed me in the head and I suddenly woke up. Back in my room with my desk, bed, dresser, several scattered cans of soda, and my computer. Was that all a dream? I was frustrated at first, until I read what was on my screen:
“You have been PERMABANNED from all servers.”